--- title: "Book your first counseling appointment" published: "2026-10-15" updated: "2026-10-15" author: "Dad Field Manual editors (drafted with AI help)" time: "30 min" cost: "$0" ages: "Any age" where: "Naptime, after bedtime or a lunch break. You need to be able to talk without interruption for a few minutes." topics: ["dad-mental-health"] print: "https://dadfieldmanual.com/print?p=book-first-counseling-appointment" url: "https://dadfieldmanual.com/plans/book-first-counseling-appointment/" --- # Book your first counseling appointment > You know you could use someone to talk to, and it keeps sliding to next week. This is thirty minutes, in order, with the exact words for the phone, so that by the end an appointment is on the calendar. ## What you need - Your phone (have) - Your insurance card (or your employer's benefits page) (have) - Pen and paper or a notes app (have) - Your calendar, with child care options in mind (have) ## Read this first - **If you're thinking about hurting yourself or anyone else,** call or text 988 now, or chat at 988lifeline.org. It's free, confidential and open 24/7. In an emergency, call 911. - **Don't wait for an appointment if tonight is bad.** The appointment is for the weeks ahead. 988 is for right now. - **Alcohol or drug use** that is harming you or others is a good reason to make this call. Say so when you do. ## Steps 1. **Call your insurer first** (You) Look on the back of your insurance card for the mental or behavioral health number. Ask: “Does my plan cover mental health services? Is there a deductible? What is my copay? Is there a limit on sessions?” Write down the answers. If your job has an employee assistance program, ask about that too. Eight minutes. 2. **Gather three names** (You) Ask your insurer for in-network names, ask your family doctor for a referral, or ask a friend you trust. You can also search APA's Psychologist Locator. If cost is a worry, add one community mental health center. Three names is enough. Eight minutes. 3. **Leave a short message** (You) Call all three. Phone is better than email for privacy. If you get voicemail, say: “Hi, this is [name], [number]. I'm looking for someone to talk to about stress and mood. Are you taking new patients? Please call me back.” That is enough. Five minutes. 4. **Ask the practical questions** (You) When someone picks up, ask: “Are you accepting new patients? Do you work with people like me? Do you accept my insurance? What are your fees, and do you have a sliding scale? What is your policy on missed appointments?” Four minutes. 5. **Pick a time you can keep** (You) Don't grab the first slot. Choose a time you won't have to rush from, with child care sorted. A session usually runs 45 to 50 minutes. If you're waitlisted, ask for the waitlist and keep calling the other two. Three minutes. 6. **Put it on the calendar and tell one person** (You) Enter it now, with a reminder the day before. Text one person you trust: “I booked a counselor for [day]. Can you ask me about it that evening?” Two minutes. ## If it stalls - If you keep getting voicemail, that is normal. Psychologists are often with patients. Leave the same short message and move on to the next name. - If your nerve runs out before the call, do step one only. A phone call to your insurer still counts as progress. - If the first person isn't a good fit, try another. Good chemistry matters, and you can talk to a few before you choose. - If you hit a waitlist, call your family doctor too. Telling a doctor how you've been feeling is a real first step. ## Variations - **No insurance:** Call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and say you are uninsured. They refer to local treatment, and often to sliding-scale providers. Ask each provider about a sliding scale. - **Short on time:** Do steps one and three only: call your insurer, then leave a voicemail with one name. Finish the rest when someone calls back. - **Prefer to start with your doctor:** Book a regular visit and say, “I've been struggling with my mood and want help finding someone to talk to.” Ask for a referral. ## Sources - **988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.** 988 is reachable by call, text or chat, is free and confidential, runs 24/7, and is for everyone: mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug concerns, or wanting someone to talk to. (checked 2026-10-15) - **Finding a psychologist, questions to ask, insurance, first appointment.** APA advises phoning rather than emailing for confidentiality, leaving a short message with your name, number and reason, asking about new patients, fees, sliding scale, insurance and missed-appointment policy, asking your insurer about coverage, deductible, copay and session limits, choosing an appointment time carefully, and notes that sessions typically last 45 to 50 minutes and that employee assistance programs often offer one to eight low-cost sessions. Read from an Internet Archive copy (captured 2025-12-31) because apa.org blocks automated requests. (checked 2026-10-15) - **SAMHSA National Helpline.** SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), is free, confidential and open 24/7 in English and Spanish, and refers callers to local treatment facilities, support groups and community organizations, including sliding-fee options if you are uninsured or underinsured. It does not provide counseling. (checked 2026-10-15)