--- title: "Catch them being good: a week of specific praise" status: "Idea, not yet tested" published: "2026-10-15" updated: "2026-10-15" author: "Dad Field Manual editors (drafted with AI help)" time: "10 min a day" cost: "$0" ages: "2 to 10" where: "Wherever your kid is during the day, with the tally sheet on the fridge where you pass it often." topics: ["discipline"] print: "https://dadfieldmanual.com/print?p=catch-them-being-good" url: "https://dadfieldmanual.com/plans/catch-them-being-good/" --- # Catch them being good: a week of specific praise > Most of what a dad says in a day can turn into corrections without anyone meaning it to. For one week, you hunt for the good stuff instead, name it out loud, and keep score on the fridge, so you can see the balance shift. **Tested on:** not yet. When a dad tries this, his name, the date, the place, and the kids' ages will be added here. ## What you need - A sheet of paper for the tally (have) - A pen kept on the fridge (have) - Tape or a fridge magnet (have) ## Before you start - **No “but.”** “You cleared your plate, but you left your cup” isn't praise. Say the good part and stop. Corrections can come later, on their own. - **Corrections stay calm.** No spanking, yelling or shaming to fill the other column. The AAP advises against all of them. - **Ask before hugs.** Some kids don't like touch. A thumbs-up, a smile or a wink works too. - **If behavior worries you** even after a few weeks of this, talk with your pediatrician. ## Steps 1. **Pick two things to catch** (Dad) Choose two behaviors you want more of, specific and easy to see. Say what to do, not what to stop: “puts shoes by the door,” “uses gentle hands with the baby,” not “stops hitting.” Write them at the top of the sheet. About five minutes, once. 2. **Make the fridge tally** (Dad) Draw two columns: “Caught being good” and “Corrections.” A correction is any time you tell your kid to stop, redo or fix something. Put a mark in the right column each time. Tape it to the fridge with the pen beside it. 3. **Name exactly what they did** (Dad) Use simple words and an upbeat voice, and name the action: “You put your plate in the sink without me asking.” “You waited your turn.” “Great job” on its own feels nice but doesn't tell them what you liked. Start with “Great job” if you want, then say what for. 4. **Catch it fast** (Dad) Say it as soon as you notice, not at bedtime. Praise a lot in the first few days, while the behavior is new. Count good tries too: half the toys picked up is worth naming. Add a high five if your kid likes that. 5. **Count up each night** (Dad) Two minutes after bedtime. Count both columns and write the day's totals at the bottom. No judging yourself, just numbers. Notice what time of day the corrections pile up. 6. **Show them the good column** (Together) Each morning, point at yesterday's good marks: “Look, I caught you being kind to your sister four times yesterday.” Let them add a sticker or a star beside the total if they like. 7. **Look back on day seven** (Dad) Compare day one with day seven. Did the good column grow? Did corrections shrink at the hard times of day? Keep the habit going, pick one new behavior to catch, and run another week if you want. ## If it stalls - If you can't catch anything all morning, lower the bar. Sitting quietly for two minutes, a polite “thanks,” a shoe on the right foot: name it. - If the correction column is huge, try letting small, harmless stuff go without comment. Every correction you skip is attention you don't give the thing you don't want. - If siblings compete over marks, give each kid their own row, and never compare totals out loud. - If the praise feels fake, make it smaller and plainer. “You hung up your coat” beats a big speech. ## Variations - **Ages 2–4:** One behavior, not two, and very short praise: “Gentle hands. Nice.” Say it right away, every time, at their eye level. - **Ages 5–7:** Let them draw a picture of each behavior at the top of the sheet. They can add a sticker to the good column themselves. - **Ages 8–10:** Keep the tally private if it would embarrass them. Praise in a quieter way: a quick word right after, out of earshot of friends or siblings. ## Sources - **Labeled praise, and how to give it.** CDC says praise lets your child know what behaviors you like and makes them happen more often; advises being specific with simple words and an upbeat tone; calls praise like “I saw that you put your toys away!” labeled praise and says unlabeled praise like “Great job!” is a general statement; and suggests a thumbs-up, smile or wink for kids uncomfortable with touch. (checked 2026-10-15) - **Praise right away, and a lot with something new.** CDC says praise should come as soon as you notice your child's behavior, should be used a lot when you create a new rule, and that labeled praise lets your child know exactly what they did that you liked. (checked 2026-10-15) - **Attention, positive consequences and minor misbehavior.** CDC says attention right after a behavior makes it more likely to happen again, advises using positive consequences like praise as much as possible for behaviors you want repeated, and lists removing attention as a response to minor misbehaviors you don't want to encourage. (checked 2026-10-15) - **Catch them being good; no spanking or yelling.** The AAP's discipline advice includes “catch them being good”: notice good behavior and point it out, praising success and good tries. It advises parents not to spank or hit children, and says the same holds for yelling at or shaming a child. (checked 2026-10-15)