--- title: "Check milestones, not the neighbor's kid" published: "2026-10-15" updated: "2026-10-15" author: "Dad Field Manual editors (drafted with AI help)" time: "20 min every few months" cost: "$0" ages: "Birth to 5" where: "After bedtime on the couch, with your phone or a printed checklist, and anyone else who knows your kid well." topics: ["toddlers"] print: "https://dadfieldmanual.com/print?p=milestones-not-the-neighbors" url: "https://dadfieldmanual.com/plans/milestones-not-the-neighbors/" --- # Check milestones, not the neighbor's kid > The kid at the playground who's already talking in sentences isn't your yardstick. Every few months, spend twenty minutes with CDC's free milestone checklist, write down your questions, and take them to the next checkup. ## What you need - CDC's free Milestone Tracker app, or a printed CDC milestone checklist (free) - A phone note or sheet of paper for questions (have) - Your calendar, for the next check and the next checkup (have) ## Read this first - **A checklist isn't a diagnosis.** CDC says its checklists don't replace the standardized developmental screening a doctor does. - **Lost skills don't wait.** If your child stops doing something they used to do, call their doctor now, not at the next checkup. - **No referral needed.** For a child under 3, you can call your state's early intervention program yourself and ask for a free evaluation. ## Steps 1. **Catch the comparison** (You) When you notice yourself measuring your kid against a cousin, a classmate or someone's video, swap the question. Not "Why isn't he doing what she does?" but "What is my kid doing now, and what comes next?" CDC's checklists list what most children, 75 percent or more, do by a given age. That's the yardstick, not one other kid. 2. **Get the free CDC tools** (You) Download CDC's Milestone Tracker app (free, iOS and Android, English and Spanish) and add your child, or use the printable or online checklist on CDC's milestones page. It covers 2 months to 5 years. If your baby was born early, the app uses their corrected age. 3. **Go through it together** (Both of you) Twenty minutes after bedtime, go through your child's age checklist with your partner, co-parent, or whoever else sees them most, like a grandparent or child care provider. Watch the app's short videos when you're not sure what a milestone looks like. Check what you've seen with your own eyes. 4. **Write questions for the checkup** (You) In a phone note, write: things you do together, things your child likes, anything that worries you, and any skill they've lost. Those are the things CDC suggests sharing with the doctor. The app can make a milestone summary to show at the visit. 5. **Put the next one on the calendar** (You) Set a reminder for the week before each well-child visit, or every few months if visits are far apart. CDC encourages sharing your child's progress with the doctor at every well visit. 6. **If something's off, act now** (You) Tell the doctor your concern and ask about developmental screening. If you're still worried, ask for a referral to a specialist. At the same time, for a child under 3, call your state's early intervention program (find it at cdc.gov/FindEI) and say you'd like your child evaluated. For a child 3 or older, call any local public elementary school and ask about an evaluation for preschool special education. ## If it stalls - If you and your partner or co-parent see it differently, write down both views and take both to the doctor. - If you still want to compare, compare your kid to themselves three months ago. The app keeps the history. - If someone tells you to wait and see, you can still ask. CDC's program exists to avoid wait-and-see. - If the checklist turns into worry every night, put the app away until the next reminder. Twenty minutes every few months is the routine. ## Variations - **Under 1:** The checklists start at 2 months, so line each one up with a well visit. - **Ages 3–5:** Ask their preschool teacher or child care provider what they see, and add it to your notes for the doctor. - **Two homes:** Each home goes through the checklist on its own, then you share the app's summary or your notes before the checkup. ## Sources - **What the checklists are for.** CDC says its milestone checklists list what most children (75 percent or more) are expected to do by a given age, are meant to avoid a wait-and-see approach, and that families should share progress with the child's doctor at every well visit and act early on any concern. (checked 2026-10-15) - **Milestone Tracker app.** CDC's free Milestone Tracker app for iOS and Android, in English and Spanish, tracks milestones from 2 months to 5 years with illustrated checklists, photos and videos, uses corrected age for babies born early, makes a summary to share with the doctor, and is not a substitute for standardized developmental screening. (checked 2026-10-15) - **Things to tell the doctor.** CDC's milestone page for 2-year-olds suggests telling the doctor what you do together, what your child likes, anything that concerns you and any skills your child has lost, and says to act early if a milestone is missed, including calling your state's early intervention program (cdc.gov/FindEI). (checked 2026-10-15) - **If you're concerned.** CDC says to talk with your child's doctor and ask about developmental screening, which AAP recommends at 9, 18 and 30 months (and for autism at 18 and 24 months) or whenever there's a concern; to ask for a specialist referral; and to request a free evaluation from early intervention for children under 3 or a local public elementary school for children 3 and older, without waiting for a doctor's referral. (checked 2026-10-15)