Run your own time: appointments and backup care

01What you need

• Your phone and a shared calendarHave
• Doctor, dentist and pharmacy numbers, and a copy of the insurance cardHave
• A list of two or three backup sitters with phone numbersFree
• A printed emergency sheet for the fridge: numbers, allergies, medicinesFree

Where: Calls, booking and messages, plus a short visit from each new sitter while you're home.

02Steps

1. List what's due

   YouFor each kid, check what's coming up: a checkup, the dentist, an eye exam, a haircut, school forms, a sports physical. AAP's schedule lists a well-child visit every year from age 3 through the teen years, and more often before that.

2. Book it on your days, and say so

   YouBook during your own parenting time and tell your co-parent first: "Planning to book Leo's checkup for the 14th, on my week. Anything you'd like me to ask the doctor?" Michigan's court guide says parents should keep each other informed about appointments and, unless they agree otherwise or an order says so, avoid booking them during the other parent's time.

3. Go in ready, then report back

   YouBring your top three to five questions, as AAP suggests, plus the insurance card and any medicine list. Afterward, send your co-parent the facts: "Checkup done. Doctor wants to recheck his ears in a month. Notes attached. Thanks."

4. Build your backup-care list

   YouAAP suggests a list of two or three sitters who know your child and can step in when your regular one is busy or sick. Think a grandparent, a neighbor, a friend with kids, a trusted teen sitter. Michigan's court guide says each parent is responsible for arranging their own childcare during their parenting time.

5. Brief every sitter once

   YouHave each new sitter spend time with you and the kids before their first shift, as AAP suggests. Walk them through the house and the exits, bedtime, food rules, allergies and screen rules. Put the emergency sheet on the fridge.

6. Handle the curveballs yourself

   YouWhen work runs late or a kid gets sick on your day, call your list first. If you'd like your co-parent to have the time, offer it, don't expect it: "I'm stuck at work Thursday. Would you like the kids that evening? If not, my sister has them."

03If it stalls

• If you don't know the kids' doctor or dentist, ask your co-parent once for the names and numbers, then call each office yourself to introduce yourself.
• If a haircut is a big deal to your kid, ask before you change anything. Keep the style the same unless your kid and your co-parent are on board.
• If sitters cost too much, trade evenings with another parent you trust. AAP notes some families swap care with neighbors or friends; keep track so it stays fair.

04Variations

05Sources

• Yearly well-child visits; bring your questions. AAP's schedule of well-child visits lists visits from the first week through age 2½, then every year from age 3 through age 21, and suggests bringing your top three to five questions or concerns to the visit. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) Checked Oct 15, 2026
• Two or three backup sitters; emergency numbers. AAP suggests developing a list of two or three sitters who know your child and can be called if your regular sitter is busy or ill, giving any sitter a list of emergency numbers including 911 and Poison Help (800-222-1222), and notes some families trade child care with neighbors or friends and keep track so it stays balanced. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) Checked Oct 15, 2026
• Babysitter checklist. AAP advises meeting the sitter and checking references in advance, making sure the sitter has first aid training and knows CPR, using a sitter at least 13 years old and mature enough for common emergencies, having the sitter spend time with you first to learn the children's routines, showing them around the house and escape routes, and telling them about allergies. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) Checked Oct 15, 2026
• Arrange your own childcare; keep each other informed about appointments. Michigan's parenting time guideline says parents are responsible for arranging their own childcare during their parenting time, that parents should keep each other informed about the child's appointments and, unless agreed or specified in the court order, avoid scheduling them during the other parent's time, and that a court order may specify who has decision-making responsibility. Michigan Supreme Court, State Court Administrative Office Checked Oct 15, 2026

Where the idea came from: a suggestion in a r/coparenting thread, put in our own words. The facts above come from the sources listed, not the thread.