01What you need
- TV and news alerts offHave
- A few basic facts you've checked yourselfFree
- Paper and markers, for kids who'd rather drawHave
Where: A couch, a bedroom, or a walk around the block, with the TV off and phones away.
Read this first
- Keep younger kids away from replayed coverage. Repeated graphic images and sounds on TV, radio and social media can hit harder than anything you say.
- Watch the next few weeks for sleep problems, physical complaints, behavior changes or new fears. Kids often hide distress, so if you're worried, talk to their pediatrician, teacher or a mental health professional.
- If the news touched your family directly, such as a loss, a disaster or violence nearby, call your child's doctor about support now. Don't wait for signs.
- If your child talks about wanting to die or hurting themselves, take it seriously. Call or text 988 any time. In an emergency, call 911.
02Steps
Get steady first
DadSpend a few minutes learning the basic facts from a reliable source. If you feel shaken, talk to another adult before you talk to your kid: a partner, a co-parent, a friend. Kids take their cue from your voice.
Ask what they've heard
DadStart with a question, not a speech. “You might have heard people talking about the fire. What have you heard? What are you wondering about?” Let them finish before you say anything else. You'll find out what they actually know, and what they've got wrong.
Give simple facts, not graphic details
DadFix any mix-ups and share the basics in a few plain sentences. “A fire burned some homes far from here. Firefighters put it out. Some families are staying with friends while they rebuild.” Leave out the graphic parts. Short and straight is kinder than long and vague.
Be honest about safety, and point to the helpers
DadDon't promise what you can't. If a fear is realistic, say so, and talk about what you do to stay safe. “I can't promise nothing bad will ever happen. Here's what our family does, and what your school does.” Name the people working to help. If they ask why someone did something terrible, it's okay to say, “I don't know.”
Make a plan for the news
TogetherFor younger kids, turn off the coverage. With older kids, watch or read together so you can pause and talk. For kids with phones: “If you see a video or post about this, come show me. You won't be in trouble.”
Close with something steady
TogetherGet back to normal: dinner, homework, the usual bedtime. If they want to do something, let them: draw a card for the firefighters, or help pick a donation. End with, “We can talk about this again any time.” Check in again in a day or two.
03If it stalls
- If they say they haven't heard anything, believe them for now and say, “Okay. If you hear anything, I'm the person to ask.”
- If they ask the same question again and again, answer it again, the same calm way. Repeating is how kids settle a worry.
- If you tear up, that's okay. “I feel sad about this too. Grown-ups have big feelings, and we handle them.”
- If they ask, “Could that happen here?”, tell them what's true where you live, then go straight to what your family and their school do to stay safe.
04Variations
Ages 6–8
Keep it to two or three sentences and a lot of reassurance about your home and routine. Drawing while you talk often helps them say more.
Ages 9–11
They'll have heard extra details, some wrong, from friends. Ask, “What are kids at school saying?” and correct gently.
Ages 12–14
Assume they've seen it on a phone. Ask what they've seen and what they think. Talk about how videos and rumors spread and how to tell what's real.
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05Sources
- How to talk about tragedies and news. The AAP advises starting at any age by asking what children have already heard, sharing basic facts without graphic details, keeping young children away from repetitive graphic images and sounds, previewing coverage for older kids, and watching for sleep problems, physical complaints and behavior changes, talking to a pediatrician, teacher or mental health professional if concerned, and not waiting for symptoms because children often hide distress. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) Checked Oct 15, 2026
- Honesty, helpers and getting support first. The AAP says not to give false reassurance when fears are realistic, that it's okay to say you don't know why a crime was committed, to tell children about the people working to help, to limit media coverage, and to get support from other adults first if you feel overwhelmed. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) Checked Oct 15, 2026
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 is free, confidential and available 24/7 by call, text or chat, for anyone in emotional distress, including people calling about a loved one. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Checked Oct 15, 2026
Filed under: Emotions & Hard Conversations
