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Dad Field Manual · Field card 55 · DisciplineIdea · not yet tested

Catch them being good: a week of specific praise

Most of what a dad says in a day can turn into corrections without anyone meaning it to. For one week, you hunt for the good stuff instead, name it out loud, and keep score on the fridge, so you can see the balance shift.

Time
10 min a day
Cost
$0
Ages
2 to 10
Where
Around the house

What you need

  • A sheet of paper for the tally
  • A pen kept on the fridge
  • Tape or a fridge magnet

Before you start

  • No “but.” “You cleared your plate, but you left your cup” isn't praise. Say the good part and stop. Corrections can come later, on their own.
  • Corrections stay calm. No spanking, yelling or shaming to fill the other column. The AAP advises against all of them.
  • Ask before hugs. Some kids don't like touch. A thumbs-up, a smile or a wink works too.
  • If behavior worries you even after a few weeks of this, talk with your pediatrician.

Steps

  1. Pick two things to catch. Pick two specific behaviors you want more of, phrased as what to do, and write them down.
  2. Make the fridge tally. Draw two columns on the fridge: Caught being good, and Corrections. Mark each one as it happens.
  3. Name exactly what they did. Praise in simple, upbeat words that name the action: “You put your plate in the sink without me asking.”
  4. Catch it fast. Praise the moment you notice, often in the first days, and count good tries too.
  5. Count up each night. Each night, count both columns, write the totals, and notice when corrections pile up.
  6. Show them the good column. Each morning, show them yesterday's good marks and say one out loud.
  7. Look back on day seven. On day seven, compare the columns with day one. Keep going and pick one new behavior to catch.

If it stalls

  • If you can't catch anything all morning, lower the bar. Sitting quietly for two minutes, a polite “thanks,” a shoe on the right foot: name it.
  • If the correction column is huge, try letting small, harmless stuff go without comment. Every correction you skip is attention you don't give the thing you don't want.
Caught being good · corrections
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date