A short weekly co-parent update
Most co-parent fights start in scattered, late-night messages. One channel, one short weekly update and a calm way to answer a hard message keep the talk about the kids. You'll walk away with a format you can send this week.
- Time
- 30 min
- Cost
- $0
- Ages
- All ages
- Where
- Your phone or computer
What you need
- Your phone, email or a shared calendar
- A note on your phone with your update template
- A pen and the printed card, to write your three weekly lines
Before you start
- If there has been abuse, threats or a protective order, skip this plan. Talk to a family-law attorney first. If anyone is in danger, call 911.
- Follow your court order or parenting plan. If it sets rules for how you communicate, follow it and ask an attorney before changing anything.
- Kids are never messengers. Don't send updates through them, and keep these messages where they can't see them.
Steps
- Ask for one channel. Ask your co-parent to agree on one place for kid logistics, and use it every time.
- Offer a short weekly update. Suggest a quick Sunday update about the kids, a few lines each, and send yours either way.
- Use the same format every time. Save a template: this week, coming up, one request with a day. Facts only, no old arguments.
- Know what goes in the update. Include health, school, moods and upcoming dates. Ask for one thing at most, and name a day.
- Wait 24 hours on a heated message. Don't reply to a heated message right away. Wait a day, then answer only the part about the kids.
- Reply with a calm script. Reply with thanks, the kid answer and "I'd like to keep these messages about the kids." Nothing more.
If it stalls
- If your co-parent doesn't answer, send your update anyway and keep it friendly. Steady and calm is the goal; a reply isn't required.
- If the update keeps growing, cut it back to three lines: health, school, dates. Anything bigger gets its own short message or a phone call.
Weekly updates sent, each in three lines
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date