Date night at home after bedtime
A sitter and a restaurant cost real money, and some weeks it just isn't happening. This is the version you can do on a Thursday: kids asleep, phones in a drawer, about $15 of something good to eat, and an hour and a half that's about the two of you.
- Time
- 90 min
- Cost
- About $15
- Ages
- Any age
- Where
- Your kitchen or living room
What you need
- Something to eat that isn't the usual: ingredients for a dish you'll make together, or dessert from somewhere you both like
- A drawer or basket for both phones
- A deck of cards or a two-player game
- The question list below, on a scrap of paper
- A baby monitor, if you use one
Before you start
- Keep one way in. One phone stays on ring for real emergencies, the monitor stays on, and kids know they can knock.
- You're still on duty tonight. Go easy on drinks. Someone may wake up sick at 2 a.m.
- Cook carefully when you're relaxed. Stay in the kitchen while anything's on the stove, and turn it off before you sit down.
- If you're afraid of your partner, this isn't the fix. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (TTY 1-800-787-3224), or 911 in danger.
Steps
- Put it on the calendar. Pick the night ahead of time, say it out loud, and decide who's planning.
- Reset the room. Clear the room, change clothes, lights low, phones in the drawer.
- Eat something different. Make or plate something you'd never eat on a weeknight, and sit somewhere new.
- Ask good questions. Take turns asking questions about each other, with no talk of logistics, kids or money.
- Play one thing. Play cards or a game, or trade three songs each, for twenty minutes.
- Pick the next one. Before bed, pick the next date and who plans it.
If it stalls
- If logistics keep creeping in, say "That's a huddle topic" and write it down for your weekly check-in.
- If one of you is exhausted, cut it to the food and two questions. Forty-five minutes still counts.
Date nights this month
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date