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Dad Field Manual · Field card 10 · Work & HomeIdea · not yet tested

The 10-minute doorway reset after work

You walk in still half at work, and the first thing your family gets is the tired, distracted version of you. This ten-minute routine, done in the car, on the step or at the end of a home-office day, gets you through the door ready for them.

Time
10 min
Cost
$0
Ages
Any age
Where
The last stop before the door

In crisis or thinking about suicide? Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If someone is in danger right now, call 911.

What you need

  • A sticky note or the notes app for tomorrow's first task
  • Your phone's Do Not Disturb or Focus setting
  • One landing spot inside the door for keys, bag and phone

Before you start

  • Park first. Do the reset with the car parked and in park, never while driving.
  • Never sit with the engine running in an attached garage, even with the door open. Carbon monoxide builds up. Do it in the driveway or with the engine off.
  • A drink isn't the reset. If you find you need one to walk in the door, notice that, and talk to someone you trust.
  • If you dread going in every day, or feel hopeless, you don't have to carry it alone. Call or text 988, any time.

Steps

  1. Close the work day. Write tomorrow's first task down so your head can let it go, then turn on Do Not Disturb.
  2. Stop before the door. Parked or on the step, take three slow breaths and stretch for three minutes, phone down.
  3. Read the room before you're in it. Ask yourself who needs what from you first tonight, and pick the first thing you'll do.
  4. Land your stuff. Put keys, bag and phone in one spot inside the door, and leave the phone there for half an hour.
  5. Greet each person. Greet each person by name and ask one question; ask any adult what they need from you first.
  6. Hold off on your bad day. Wait twenty minutes before telling your own work story, and ask for a time to talk later if you need it.

If it stalls

  • If the kids are melting down the second you walk in, skip the questions. Pick up the job that's happening, whether it's dinner, bath or homework, and say "I've got this one."
  • If you work from home, make a fake commute: shut the laptop, walk around the block or change your shirt, then do the reset on the front step.
Workdays I did the reset this week
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date