The feelings check-in: a number, a word, what helps
Little kids feel big things and don't always have the words. In fifteen minutes you'll make a simple 1–5 scale, practice naming feelings together, and have a daily check-in that takes two minutes once it sticks.
- Time
- 15 min
- Cost
- $0
- Ages
- 3 to 8
- Where
- Kitchen table
What you need
- A sheet of paper
- Markers or crayons
- Tape or a fridge magnet
Before you start
- Feelings are never wrong. Don't punish or tease a number or a word. Behavior can have limits; the feeling itself gets heard.
- Watch for low numbers that stick. If your child seems sad or irritable most days, or stops enjoying things, for more than two weeks, talk with their doctor.
- If your child talks about hurting themselves, or says someone is hurting them, stay calm, thank them for telling you, and get help today. In a crisis, call or text 988.
Steps
- Draw the scale together. Draw five boxes numbered 1 to 5 and let your kid draw a face in each.
- Go first. Say your number, one feeling word, why, and what helped, in one sentence.
- Their number, then their word. Ask for their number, then help them find a feeling word, offering two choices if they're stuck.
- Name it and leave it there for a moment. Repeat their number and word back to them, then wait before you try to fix anything.
- Ask what helps. Ask what would help, offer a short menu, and try three slow breaths with a long breath out.
- Pick a time and post it. Tape the scale up and pick one daily time to ask, “What number are you today?”
If it stalls
- If they say “I don't know,” that's an answer. Say, “That's okay. Just point to a face.”
- If they're in the middle of a meltdown, skip the scale. Stay close and calm, and check in once they've settled.
Days we checked in this week
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date