Field plans for dadsOne page per plan · Friday letter

Home / Start here / Print pack

Your print pack

1 field card, one per page: The first weekend at Dad's: a checklist.

Back to Start here

Each card prints on its own US Letter page. If the button doesn't work, use your browser's Print.

Dad Field Manual · Field card 77 · Co-Parenting

The first weekend at Dad's: a checklist

The first weekend at a new place is mostly about small, ordinary things being ready. Set up their space with them, stock the basics, keep the plan light and know what you'll do if the first night is rough, so the place starts to feel like theirs.

Time
2 hours to set up
Cost
About $30
Ages
2 to 12
Where
Your place

What you need

  • Sheets and a pillowcase or blanket they help pick
  • Toothbrush, pajamas and two outfits per kid that stay at your place
  • Anti-tip anchors for dressers, bookcases and the TV
  • A night-light, plus their comfort item if they have one
  • Breakfast, snacks and one easy dinner they already like
  • The printed checklist, to tick off before they arrive

Before they arrive

  • Anchor furniture and TVs. Dressers, bookcases and TVs can tip onto a climbing kid. AAP says anti-tip devices cost about $5 to $25 and take minutes to install.
  • Lock up medicines. Keep them in their original packages, locked up and out of reach, and save Poison Help (1-800-222-1222) in your phone.
  • Follow your court order or parenting plan. Its times and rules come first; ask a family-law attorney before changing anything. If anyone is ever in danger, call 911.

Steps

  1. Set up their space with them. Let them help set up their spot: pick bedding, hang something they chose and place the night-light.
  2. Stock the basics before Friday. Stock toothbrushes, pajamas, two outfits each and food they like. Ask your co-parent about meals and bedtime.
  3. Keep the plan light. Plan one small thing a day, like the park or pancakes, and leave the rest open.
  4. Keep the times they know. Keep meals, bath and bedtime near the times they know, and put the bedtime steps on a sticky note.
  5. Plan for a rough first night. Night-light on, comfort item close; sit by the door until they settle, a little less each night.
  6. Make missing the other house okay. If they miss the other house, say it makes sense, and let them make a short goodnight call.
  7. Pack up and note what's missing. Before they leave, pack together and list what you were missing. Get it before next time.

If it stalls

  • If they say "This isn't my house," don't argue. Say, "It's new. It'll feel more like yours each time," and let them add one more thing they picked.
  • If they won't eat what you made, offer the plain version: bread, fruit, cereal. The first weekend isn't the time for a dinner standoff.
Checklist items ready before they arrive
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date