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Dad Field Manual · Field card 117 · New Dads & Babies

New dad mood check: two minutes a week

After a baby, everyone asks how the mom and baby are doing, and they should. But dads can get depressed after a birth too, and it can show up as anger or pulling away instead of sadness. This is a two-minute check, once a week, so you catch it early and know who to call.

Time
2 min a week
Cost
$0
Ages
Newborn to 1
Where
Anywhere, same time each week

In crisis or thinking about suicide? Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If someone is in danger right now, call 911.

What you need

  • A repeating weekly reminder on your phone
  • A note on your phone or this card to write your answers
  • Your doctor's number, saved

Read this first

  • If you're thinking about hurting yourself, your baby or anyone else, call or text 988 now, or chat at 988lifeline.org. It's free, confidential and open 24/7. In an emergency, call 911.
  • This is not a diagnosis. It helps you notice a pattern. A doctor or counselor is the one to say what's going on.
  • Don't drink to get through the nights. If you're drinking more than you meant to, say so when you talk to your doctor.

Steps

  1. Set the reminder. Set a repeating weekly phone reminder called "Mood check."
  2. Answer five questions. Yes or no for the past week: sleep, mood, temper, drinking, pulling away.
  3. Read the answers. All no: carry on. One yes: one small fix. Two yeses, or one for two weeks: next step.
  4. Tell one person. Tell one person today: "I've not been myself since the baby came. I'm calling my doctor."
  5. Call your doctor. Book your own doctor: "I had a baby recently and I've been struggling with my mood."
  6. Know the lines. Save 988 (call or text) and 1-833-TLC-MAMA, the maternal mental health line for worries about your partner.

If it stalls

  • If you can't tell whether you're depressed or just tired, ask your partner, "How have I seemed lately?" People close to you often notice first.
  • If your partner is struggling too, get help for both of you. One of you doesn't have to wait for the other to be okay.
Weeks checked in
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date