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Dad Field Manual · Field card 108 · Emotions & Hard Conversations

The nightly question journal

Some kids talk more to a notebook than to a face. One question a night, in one notebook you share, adds up to a running conversation, and in a year it's a book about your kid in their own words.

Time
10 min a night
Cost
About $5
Ages
4 to 14
Where
Bedside or kitchen table

What you need

  • A notebook just for this, one they help pick
  • Two pens, or a pen and a crayon
  • A list of ten prompts taped inside the back cover

Before you start

  • It's not a test. No fixing spelling, no grading answers. A one-word answer counts.
  • React calmly to anything surprising. Say thanks first. If you get angry or punish what they wrote, the notebook goes quiet.
  • If they write about being hurt, or not wanting to be alive, don't wait. Talk with them that night. In a crisis, call or text 988, any time.

Steps

  1. Pick the notebook together. Let them pick or decorate the notebook. Write on page one: one question a night, any answer OK, pass allowed.
  2. Write tonight's question. Write one short question at the top of a fresh page. Pick one that fits their age.
  3. They answer their way. They write the answer, or tell you and you write their exact words. Drawing counts.
  4. Listen, then say it back. Phone away. Say back what you heard and ask just one follow-up question.
  5. Write one line back. Write one line back: your own answer, or a thank-you. No lessons.
  6. Make it a fixed time. Do it at the same point every night, right after teeth or the bedtime story.

If it stalls

  • If they say "I don't know," offer two choices: "Was today more like a sunny day or a rainy day?"
  • If they won't answer for a few nights, let them write the question for you. Answer it honestly.
Pages filled
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date