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Dad Field Manual · Field card 127 · Emotions & Hard Conversations

The online safety talk: photos, secrets and sextortion

People who target kids online are practiced, and they count on kids being too scared to tell. This plan gives your kid the warning signs, the steps to take, and the one promise that matters most: tell me, and you won't be in trouble.

Time
20 min
Cost
$0
Ages
9 to 17
Where
Side by side

What you need

  • Their phone, tablet or game console, for the settings check
  • The CyberTipline (report.cybertip.org) and Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org), saved on your phone

Read this first

  • If it's happening right now: don't pay, don't send more, don't delete the account or messages. Block, then report to NCMEC's CyberTipline (1-800-843-5678) or the FBI (1-800-CALL-FBI, tips.fbi.gov).
  • Skip paid “removal” services. Help from NCMEC and the FBI is free. Companies charging victims for help can be another scam.
  • Never forward or save the image, even to report it. Possessing or sharing explicit images of kids can be a serious crime. Report it and let the experts handle removal.
  • If your kid seems hopeless or talks about not wanting to live, stay with them and call or text 988, any time. In an emergency, call 911.

Steps

  1. Make the promise first. Promise: tell me anything that scares you online, my first move is to help, and you won't be in trouble.
  2. Ask before you explain. Ask if strangers have messaged them and if pictures get passed around, and listen without reacting.
  3. Name how it starts. Warning signs: fast requests for photos, offers of money or game credits, secrecy, and moving to another app.
  4. Explain what sextortion is. Explain that sextortion is a threat to share a picture unless the kid sends more or pays, and it's a crime.
  5. Practice what to do. Their list: stop, don't pay, block, report, keep the messages, tell an adult. Then you report it.
  6. Check privacy settings together. Together, set accounts to private, block messages from strangers, and agree never to send or share nudes.
  7. End with the promise again. Repeat the promise: whatever happened, even if they broke a rule, they come to you and you help.

If it stalls

  • If they roll their eyes and say, “I'd never do that,” agree, then ask, “What would you tell a friend if it happened to them?”
  • If they say a friend is in trouble, thank them. Help them get the friend to a trusted adult, and remind them the friend is the victim.
Promise made · settings checked
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date