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Dad Field Manual · Field card 54 · ScreensIdea · not yet tested

Play their video game with them

You don't have to like the game. You just have to sit down and be bad at it while your kid shows you how. In 45 minutes you learn what they're playing and who they play with, and you set up chat and spending controls together.

Time
45 min
Cost
$0
Ages
6 to 14
Where
Wherever they play

What you need

  • The game your kid already plays, on their usual console, computer or tablet
  • A second controller, or take turns with one
  • The password for the device's family or parental controls
  • A phone or the game box to look up its rating

Before you start

  • Ratings don't cover everything. The FTC notes ESRB ratings don't cover in-game ads or player-made content, and games update. Watch what actually shows up on screen.
  • Chat off or friends-only. Even games aimed at kids can have adult players. Voice chat and messaging can be turned off in the device's or game's parental controls.
  • Lock spending first. Turn in-game purchases off, require a password, or set a dollar limit before your kid plays on their own again.

Steps

  1. Ask to be taught. Ask them to teach you their favorite game, and let them pick it and set it up.
  2. Let them run the controller lesson. Play for twenty minutes while they explain buttons, goals and rules. Let them be the expert.
  3. Ask open questions. Ask open questions like “What's your favorite part?” Save any worries for later, not mid-game.
  4. Look up the rating together. Read the game's ESRB rating together: age category, content descriptors and interactive elements like In-Game Purchases.
  5. Set chat and spending side by side. Open the parental controls together. Set chat to off or real-life friends, and lock or limit spending.
  6. Say the tell-me rule. Say: if a stranger asks to chat elsewhere or anything feels wrong, say “No thanks” and tell me.
  7. Book the next round. Book a next session. Bring up anything that bothered you later, calmly, not during the game.

If it stalls

  • If they get frustrated that you're bad at it, say, “You're the teacher. Show me one more time, slower.”
  • If you can't stand the game, keep playing anyway. You're there for them, not the game.
Levels Dad lost · questions asked
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date