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Dad Field Manual · Field card 81 · Co-Parenting

Run your own time: appointments and backup care

Your parenting time runs best when you handle it yourself: the checkup, the haircut, the late shift, the sick day. You'll book what's due, keep your co-parent in the loop and build a backup-care list, so gaps don't land on the other house.

Time
1 hour
Cost
$0
Ages
All ages
Where
Your phone

What you need

  • Your phone and a shared calendar
  • Doctor, dentist and pharmacy numbers, and a copy of the insurance card
  • A list of two or three backup sitters with phone numbers
  • A printed emergency sheet for the fridge: numbers, allergies, medicines

Before you start

  • Meet sitters first. AAP advises meeting a sitter and checking references in advance, choosing someone trained in first aid and CPR, and using sitters at least 13 and mature enough for emergencies.
  • Leave the emergency info. Every sitter gets your number, a trusted neighbor or relative, the pediatrician, 911 and Poison Help (1-800-222-1222), plus allergies and medicines.
  • Follow your court order or parenting plan. It may say who makes medical decisions or who books appointments. Ask a family-law attorney if you're not sure.

Steps

  1. List what's due. List what's due for each kid: checkup, dentist, haircut, forms. AAP lists a yearly checkup from age 3.
  2. Book it on your days, and say so. Book on your own days, tell your co-parent first and ask if there's anything they want raised.
  3. Go in ready, then report back. Bring three to five questions and the insurance card. Afterward, send your co-parent the facts.
  4. Build your backup-care list. Line up two or three backup sitters who know your kids: family, a neighbor, a friend or a trusted teen.
  5. Brief every sitter once. Have each sitter visit while you're home, show them routines and exits, and leave the emergency sheet.
  6. Handle the curveballs yourself. When something comes up, call your list first. If you ask your co-parent, make it an offer, not an expectation.

If it stalls

  • If you don't know the kids' doctor or dentist, ask your co-parent once for the names and numbers, then call each office yourself to introduce yourself.
  • If a haircut is a big deal to your kid, ask before you change anything. Keep the style the same unless your kid and your co-parent are on board.
Appointments booked on your days; sitters on your list
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date