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Dad Field Manual · Field card 35 · Emotions & Hard ConversationsIdea · not yet tested

Talking with your kid about scary news

When something frightening is in the news, your kid will hear about it somewhere. Better from you. This plan gives you the order to go in and the words to use, so you can answer honestly without scaring them more.

Time
20 min
Cost
$0
Ages
6 to 14
Where
Somewhere quiet

What you need

  • TV and news alerts off
  • A few basic facts you've checked yourself
  • Paper and markers, for kids who'd rather draw

Read this first

  • Keep younger kids away from replayed coverage. Repeated graphic images and sounds on TV, radio and social media can hit harder than anything you say.
  • Watch the next few weeks for sleep problems, physical complaints, behavior changes or new fears. Kids often hide distress, so if you're worried, talk to their pediatrician, teacher or a mental health professional.
  • If the news touched your family directly, such as a loss, a disaster or violence nearby, call your child's doctor about support now. Don't wait for signs.
  • If your child talks about wanting to die or hurting themselves, take it seriously. Call or text 988 any time. In an emergency, call 911.

Steps

  1. Get steady first. Learn the basic facts, and talk to another adult first if you feel shaken.
  2. Ask what they've heard. Ask what they've heard and what they're wondering about, and let them finish.
  3. Give simple facts, not graphic details. Correct mix-ups and share the basic facts in a few plain sentences, leaving out graphic details.
  4. Be honest about safety, and point to the helpers. Skip false promises. Say what your family does to stay safe, name the helpers, and say “I don't know” when you don't.
  5. Make a plan for the news. Turn coverage off for younger kids, watch together with older kids, and ask them to show you what they see online.
  6. Close with something steady. Return to the normal routine, offer one small thing to do, and check in again in a day or two.

If it stalls

  • If they say they haven't heard anything, believe them for now and say, “Okay. If you hear anything, I'm the person to ask.”
  • If they ask the same question again and again, answer it again, the same calm way. Repeating is how kids settle a worry.
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date