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Dad Field Manual · Field card 114 · New Dads & Babies

Your crying-baby plan: check, soothe, step away

Healthy, well-loved babies can cry for hours, and nothing makes a tired man feel worse at 3 a.m. Make this plan now while you're calm: what to check, what to try, and what to do when you hit your limit, with the phone numbers already saved.

Time
15 min to plan, then as needed
Cost
$0
Ages
Newborn to 1
Where
Home, day or night

What you need

  • Your phone with the baby's doctor, after-hours line and one go-to person saved
  • A thermometer
  • A fan or white noise machine
  • A baby carrier or stroller
  • A sheet of paper and tape, for the plan by the crib

Read this first

  • Never shake, throw, hit, slam or jerk a baby. If you're losing control, put the baby on their back in the crib and leave the room.
  • Fever under 3 months: a temperature of 100.4°F (38.0°C) or higher means call the baby's doctor right away.
  • Call 911 if the baby has trouble breathing, a seizure, can't be woken, or may have been shaken or hit.
  • Thoughts of harming yourself or the baby? Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, now.

Steps

  1. Save the numbers now. Save the doctor, the after-hours line, one go-to person and 1-833-852-6262 in your phone.
  2. Check the basics. Check: hungry, tired, diaper, too hot or cold. Same layers as you.
  3. Rule out sick. Take a temperature. Under 3 months, 100.4°F or higher: call the doctor right away.
  4. Try the soothing moves. Try one at a time: hold, rock, hum, white noise, pacifier, a walk in the carrier.
  5. If you're losing it, step away. Feeling anger rise? Count to 10, baby on their back in the crib, leave the room for 10 to 15 minutes.
  6. Cool off, then go back. Music, dishes or a phone call. Check every 5 to 10 minutes; pick up only once you're calm.
  7. Tell every caregiver. Show every caregiver the plan: crib, step away, call. Never shake a baby.

If it stalls

  • If you think you're failing because the baby won't stop, you're not. AAP says healthy babies may cry 1 to 2 hours a day, and some cry longer. CDC says crying is worst in the first few months and gets better.
  • If you and your partner or co-parent are both at the end, take turns: one person is off duty, out of earshot, for an hour.
Numbers saved · caregivers told
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date