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Dad Field Manual · Field card 41 · Dad Mental HealthIdea · not yet tested

A 10-minute reset for hard days

Some days the noise, the mess and the pressure stack up until you're about to snap. This is a ten-minute reset you can do at home with kids in the house, in the same order every time, so you don't have to think when you're already full.

Time
10 min
Cost
$0
Ages
Any age
Where
Home, kids nearby

In crisis or thinking about suicide? Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If someone is in danger right now, call 911.

What you need

  • A safe spot for the baby: a crib or playpen
  • A show or a quiet activity for older kids
  • Your phone, with one friend's text ready to send
  • A glass of cold water

Read this first

  • If you're thinking about hurting yourself or anyone else, call or text 988 now, or chat at 988lifeline.org. It's free, confidential and open 24/7. In an emergency, call 911.
  • Kids safe first. A baby goes in the crib or playpen before you step away. Never shake, throw or hit a child, however frustrated you feel.
  • Stay home for the reset. Don't drive off to cool down or leave young kids alone in the house.
  • If you need this most days, that's a sign to talk to your doctor or a counselor, not a failure.

Steps

  1. Make the kids safe. Put a baby in the crib or playpen, and tell older kids you need ten minutes and where you'll be.
  2. Step away. Go somewhere close enough to hear the kids, and drink a glass of cold water.
  3. Breathe out long. Breathe in for four and out for six to eight, ten times.
  4. Move your body. Move for three minutes: walk, take the stairs, or do push-ups against the counter.
  5. Text one person. Text one trusted person something like, “Rough day. Just wanted to tell someone.”
  6. Come back with one sentence. Go back, say one sentence out loud, and do the next small thing.

If it stalls

  • If ten minutes isn't possible, do the short version: kids safe, five long breaths out, back.
  • If you can't think of who to text, pick that person now, on a good day, and save the message in your phone.
Resets used instead of yelling
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date