Two good choices, and the silliest-way game
Toddlers want a say in everything, and "no" is their favorite word. Give them a real choice between two things you're fine with, and the fight over whether turns into a choice about how.
- Time
- 10 min
- Cost
- $0
- Ages
- 1 to 4
- Where
- Anywhere
What you need
- Nothing but the two things you're offering: two shirts, two cups, two books
Before you start
- Safety is never a choice. Car seats, holding hands in a parking lot and hot stoves get a plain direction, not options.
- Silly, not risky. Hopping, tiptoeing and crawling are fine. No running with things in their hands, and no silly ways on stairs or near the tub.
- No spanking or hitting, ever. If you're losing your cool, make sure they're safe and take a minute yourself.
Steps
- Pick where you're going first. Decide the must-do first. The choice is only about how, never whether.
- Offer two, both good. Hold up two things you're fine with: "Red cup or blue cup?"
- Skip the yes-or-no question. Say the must-do as a statement: "It's bath time. Duck or boat?"
- If they don't pick, you pick. Wait five seconds. Then "You pick, or I'll pick." Then you pick and keep going.
- Play the silliest-way game. Ask, "What's the silliest way to get the socks to the hamper?" Then do it their way.
- Notice the cooperation. Say what they did: "You picked the blue cup and drank your milk."
If it stalls
- If they want the thing that wasn't offered, say, "That's not one of the choices. Red or blue?" and hold both up again.
- If every choice turns into a fight, make the choices smaller and earlier: let them pick the pajamas at breakfast.
Silliest way of the week
Signed off: can do this.Signed by Date